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Saturday, October 18, 2014

shit talk'n. autumn edition.

what? what! you said you wanted another round of american Q+A.

aussie inquisitor reannon of 'she who rambles' has some more questions for me because i am the knower of all things american....   

a special autumn edition featuring

reannon asks...
Q: what the hell IS 'pumpkin spice'?

A: it's a lie.
there is no 'spice' that is derived from said pumpkin.

Q: why is pumpkin spice everywhere?

that's easy.
starbucks knows how to promote THE SHIT out of nothing and make people think it's sheik as shit.

let me break it down for you.
starbucks pumpkin spice latte: 
50¢ cup of coffee with 5¢ worth of spices, some other bullshit and guess what there's NOT even a gob of squash in it. nope. 

that's a $5 cinnamon scented *ass punch if there ever was one. 

*what's in a starbucks pumpkin spice latte
*shitty ass cup of chemicals

*ass punch: to firmly connect a closed fist with the rectal region of a person.

starbucks: how'd you enjoy that ass punch?
me: not very much. 
starbucks: that'll be $5
me: fuck you man.

Q: so what's up with pumpkin spice?

*pinterest no idea original source

A: yea what's up with pumpkin spice and her shitty attitude???? 
the other spice girls said she was always moody as fuck.

i called pumpkin spice up because i know all the spice girls from back in the day when i was a roadie on their american tour. 

pumpkin spice said those bitches just didn't understand that the ugg boots made her feet all sweaty and shit. 
plus the spandex camel toe hurt like hell.
no one enjoys a wad of spandex up the box.

pumpkin spice really was okay once you got to know her. she was just misunderstood. 
girrrrl story of my life! i feels ya on that!

although pumpkin spice smelled good, personally i could only ever identify with sporty spice because she's a bit butch, like me.

other than me liking dick i think i'd totally make a good butch lesbian because i like wearing flats.

here's my personal spice blend i use when a recipe calls for 'pumpkin spice' 

3 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

teaspoon ginger 

½ teaspoon cloves

i hope you enjoyed this installment of american Q+A. 
got more questions? i can answer them alllllll. 
x+o tracie

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

letting my hair down

today officially week #16 in this hair grow out journey
first off i decided to keep this picture in the reals. NOT to do my hair today. roll out of bed and take a picture so you could really see my progress without any fluff.

this is my air dry curls from yesterday. i've pretty much quit touching up my curls with an iron or fluffing with a hairdryer. it's been all of 3 weeks since i've even used hairspray.
that alone is some BIG SHIT right there! 

if i'm going somewhere and want to look a bit polished i put some effort into my hair and make up. but mostly these days i'm feeling like i need to be as *natural as possible. 
*you can read that as authentic as possible. because that's my goal. 

i know it's hard to tell from this picture but i have A LOT of hair. my hair is a bit coarse and thick. curly.
when i pick it out i can have a seriously big ass weave! 

anyway if you've been following my blog, if you know me in real life you know being natural and authentic is my thing. 
it's everything to me. i also want to be the most real me i can offer you.
i want you to know the real me.

as shallow as this might sound i have found this whole somewhat silly 'hair thing' to be extremely cathartic, healing and emotional. 
i had NOOOOOO IDEA it would be like this but it has. it's been so much more than just a 'hair thing'. 

deep breath. 
as long as i'm being so vulnerable showing you such a stripped down picture of me i'm going to share a bit more about me....

there's no pretty way of saying this and quite frankly i don't feel like trying to make it sound prettier or more polite than what it was. 
my mother was a drunk. a mean drunk. 
she battled addictions her whole life and could never get to that place where she could walk away from her demons and get her shit straight.
she was in and out of rehabs for booze but also for bouts of substance abuse. 
growing up with her was hard. ha.
the toxic 'less than' she put on me was so fucked up. i've been trying to break free from it my whole life.

we were completely estranged the last 4 yrs of her life. i just couldn't keep going round and round with her shit any more. she was the source of so much anxiety in my life. so much embarrassment.
i kept her at arms length as soon as i was old enough to realize that not everyone's mother was like colleen. 

*dear tina white, 
although you may not ever read this, i'm just going to write it. 
when we were growing up. spending the time with you, in your house, with your mother. with your family meant so much to me. your mother was so sweet, so kind. so welcoming. i wanted your mom to be my mom. i wanted you to be my sister. i never wanted to ever go back to my house. 
your mother's kindness made such a sweet impression on me. that sweet influence has stayed with me all these years. 
i just wanted you to know that. x+o t.

so colleen passed 5 yrs ago. 
her passing has brought out a shit storm of shit to sort through in the last few yrs. 
some of it i can share here. some will just always quietly belong to me to sort through at 3am when i can't say the words out loud. 

this freeing authentic hair grow out chapter has strangely (or not) has coincided with the sorting through of my own shit since the shitty year, which in part had to do with some left over unfinished business from colleen's passing.... 
so in this own self discovery of sorting out me it occurred to me that my mother NEVER felt secure enough in her own skin to be authentically herself. ever. 

she NEVER was herself. she NEVER really lived her life free. 
she hid in a bottle. she lied as easily as she drew a breath. she self medicated. she attempted to cover her shortcomings, her own painful childhood, her intelligence, talents. inner beauty. 
she hid. 
she lived in a bitter mean world where she was killing herself slowly for 40 yrs.

i could ramble on with this subject because there is SOOOOOO much to it. 
my God so many layers of this shit.
as i have wrote this i found myself flushed with anxious sweatiness. 
that's the thing about secret keeping it breeds anxiety and more secrets. i want that anxiety shit out of my life.

the carthic part of writing out your shit is that it doesn't have as much power over you any more. it takes it off the loop in my head. it helps me rest. recharge.
this is me feeling lighter and throwing off some of that 'less than' shit that was put on me. this is me healing. 

this is also me extending my hand to those who have hurts you've been carrying around for too long. 
this is me telling you..... giving you permission to yell out... 
hey don't put your shit on me. fuck you! 
i didn't deserve it and i don't want to carry it around any more!
what if someone offered that to colleen. what if.

so that's that. i had a bit of a cry. i let some of it out. thank you for listening. 
i'm going to shake out my weave now. 
i'm letting my hair down. i think i'll dance for a little while. 
join me if you feel like it.


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

tuesday in my neighborhood

is that a skateboard in you pants or are you just happy to see me?

art at the pukinmäki train station. 
well played boys. well played.

happy tuesday.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

some shit talk'n. questions asked and answered

you got questions? i have all the answers and if i don't i'll just make some shit up.

have we talked about my beets+birch FB page
hell yes of course we have!
go. hit the like button. join in. your people are talking some shit over there!

my darling australian gal pal reannon of  she who rambles  asked on the B+B fb...

OK as an American you gotta clear some things up for me. 

1. What the heck is candy corn & why does it flood my

Pinterest feed every October?

2. Why so much sugar in baked goods? I love sugar, with all

my body. I love it, but the quantity in some recipes is OTT. 

3. Why is a box cake mix classed as an ingredient? 

4. And what's with that orange cheese?

I think thats it for now but there could be more...x

dear reannon, 

thank you for these questions. 
i consider myself to be bit of an expert on ALLLLLLLLL things american so that qualifies me to answer your burning questions. here we go....

Q. What the heck is candy corn & why does it flood my

Pinterest feed every October?

you can eat candy that looks like poop or buttons or you can

eat candy corn. please enjoy this video i picked just for you.

it's pretty much high fructose corn syrup, wax and dye. 
the ingredients are shit, shit and shit.
so you actually are eating candy that is poop, it's just in the shape of corn.

if you ever have the occasion to eating candy corn
the correct way to dine upon this treat is with a friend.

eat the white nip first, then the orange middle and the most
 important part is to save up a handful of the yellows. line them up in your mouth covering your actual teeth like you have rotted out your grill from eating this shit. laugh and laugh with friend then eat the yellow corn butts.

if i were a stripper or a porn star my stage name would be 
Kandy Korn. 
double K 'cause that's just KLASSY.

Q. Why so much sugar in baked goods? I love sugar with all my body. I love it, but the quantity in some recipes is OTT. 

i agree! 
i don't think people realise how much sugar goes into their traditional american baked goods because it's just what we have grown up on.

since i have left the states i have been weaned off the sugar teat of my beloved motherland.
i primarily make american baked goods, however i usually cut back the sugar by 50-76g (1/4-1/3c) and no one knows the difference. it just tastes a bit lighter. 

in finland there is only 1 kind of brown sugar which is the darkest brown sugar i have ever seen. it's heavy on molasses. which i personally LOVE. this makes for a deep, earthy flavor. which is heavenly. this also allows me to cut back on white sugar without peeps being the wiser. 

america does get a bad rap for their sugar overload.
besides living here, i have done a bit of traveling in europe and i must say that europeans do love their sugar just like americans do. 
for example in my travels to italy and spain the breakfasts have always consisted heavily on highly sugared baked goods, jams and espresso. (yes some other things were offered but heavy on the sugar).

european chocolate is plenty sweet also. excellent quality which i will forever be spoiled from but still plenty sweet. you betcha.

Q. Why is a box cake mix classed as an ingredient?

A. i believe you must be speaking of 'dump cakes'. this is a phenomenon that seems to have taken over since i've left the states. 
the whole 'dump' thing... could that be any more disgusting of a name. no.

being a bit of a baker nothing pisses me off more that clicking on a recipe and seeing 'BOXED CAKE' as an ingredient. 
it's all i can do to not write fuck you man on that pin. 

i believe in whole foods i do not make cakes or anything from a box. i cook from scratch. so i just can't get my head around this thing. 

Q. What is that orange cheese? 

A. that would be cheddar. ahhh yes. well. it's what we grew up with. i'm not sure how to explain why cheddar consumption is outrageous just that it is. it must be so odd to read a recipe and wonder why so much fucking orange cheese.... 
i hear ya girl. i hear ya. 
i substitute cheddar with a med hard gouda.... it's different but very good. 

this has nothing to do with orange cheese, but more on the art of cheese cutting. 

i hope i have answered your questions. i look forward to more! maybe Q+A can be a regular series. 


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

a look around + some thank yous

ever buzz around your neighborhood with your camera? 
i don't very often but last weekend i put a snatch on the picture box and headed out the door. 
let me give you a quick tour of my little bubble in helsinki

i was hoping to get a snap of a hedgehog while out and about but they were hiding. so you get another pic of fungi. enjoy.

special shouts of thanks to lindsey over @ betterafter
miss lady featured my entry makeover!!!! 
thanks again lindsey you made my day!

also a BIG sincere
thank you+hello+welcome to the people following my blog+my fb
seriously humbling that you take the time to read, put up with my shit and leave a comment. blows me away. 
heart you all! 


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

hello october!

it's about to get busy around here. so brace yourself i'll have a lot to blog about this month.

carrying over the wrapping up of september post i'm going to tell you some more stuff about me that not everyone knows...
i have
2 daughters (22+28) back in michigan
3 step sons (16+17+21) here in finland
1 grandson (16 mo old) in michigan

tom and i have been married 4.5yrs. we went to school together. 
we were never boyfriend+girlfriend. just friends. 
he had a mad crush on me. but terribly shy. he got over it.

i do not believe in BFFS. 
i don't have one and i don't ever want to be one.
the word BFF actually bothers the shit out of me. it's thrown around so much that i feel like it has no value. 
i feel like it's an 'excluding' + 'intimidating' term.

imagine you're meeting someone new and they refer to their BFF.... it's like saying 'that position is filled. you're only going to get in just so far with US' 
i think that's just fucky and a bit ugly.
i have some really lovely close girlfriends that i can tell all my shit to without judgment and pure support.... i welcome you to be my friend without limitations. so no need for a BFF. 

back to october...
we have a school holiday coming up for the 2 school aged guys, who will be at our house for their holiday this year. 
so that means a shit ton of baking. which means when you see me i'll be rockin up in my fat pants with cookie crumbs in my cleavage.
i might even share a recipe or two on here this month. 

i can't speak for all of us in the northern hemisphere, but us michigan raised folks really romance the shit out of this autumn/fall business.
it's just our thing.

we get all into our sweater weather. changing leaf colors.
it's all things pumpkin. apples. warming spices. comfort foods. snuggling. candlelight.
short days and long nights. 

so i'm just going to leave you with those warm and fuzzy thoughts.
you'll be seeing a lot of me this month! :)
x+o tracie

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

some shit about me

saying goodbye to september. she was a good month!

here's some stuff i did this month + some stuff you probably don't know about me.
when i'm not sewing...

i hike. i love to be outside. 
i'm slightly obsessed with finding fabulous fungi in the finland forests

this was seriously the best + biggest red mushroom to date that i've stumbled upon. 
huge. big as my head.
welllll okay as big as my hand. but still that's damn big. not that i have man hands. i have normal woman hands. but this really was a big ass mushroom

this one. total potential to be a dickbomb. 
purple wonder! sorry that was an iphone pic. 

i love birch trees. these are jussssst starting to change color
i find humor in lots of places. people litter in creative drunken ways. not us. not my poison. but funny. 

 i love to wander little cool villages. tom is really good about it even if it's the SAME one that i want to keep going back to like 100000000x this is porvoo, finland. check it out some time :) i'll probably be there having a spot of tea at cafe helmi

i find dickbombs hilarous. apparently my people are there in this cool little village. we should probably just move there.

one of the joys of my life is to picnic by the sea. btw. this is my husband
tom puts up with my shit when he just wants to eat potato-fucking-salad in peace. that's love

i wear my sweater like a cape and rock the shit out of a do-rag and eat breaded zucchini veg sandwiches then lay in the sun like a toad and watch dragonflies. my kind of perfect day

i love to walk through allotment gardens. 
on this day, a crazy ass finnish woman LOST HER SHIT on me for snapping a picture of this flower on the edge of a plot that wasn't even her's. 
i wasn't picking the fucking flower. i did not enter the fucking garden plot. chill the fuck out. ruined zen moment

did you know i cook? 
yeah i do. slightly obsessed with cooking, baking and taking pictures of the beauty of it all. pure magic to me!

i've been a card carrying vegetarian for the last 20 years. 
no fad fake ass douchebaggery foodie food shit going on. 
it's just peasant simple whole food to me. it's how i nourish the one's i love
and if i cook for you, you know i love you. 
everyone else gets store bought salsa and chips and you know who you are.

do you feel that you know me a little better now? 
i hope you do!