aussie inquisitor reannon of 'she who rambles' has some more questions for me because i am the knower of all things american....
a special autumn edition featuring
PUMPKIN FUCKING SPICE!
Q: what the hell IS 'pumpkin spice'?
A: it's a lie.
there is no 'spice' that is derived from said pumpkin.
Q: why is pumpkin spice everywhere?
starbucks knows how to promote THE SHIT out of nothing and make people think it's sheik as shit.
let me break it down for you.
starbucks pumpkin spice latte:
50¢ cup of coffee with 5¢ worth of spices, some other bullshit and guess what there's NOT even a gob of squash in it. nope.
that's a $5 cinnamon scented *ass punch if there ever was one.
*what's in a starbucks pumpkin spice latte
*shitty ass cup of chemicals
*ass punch: to firmly connect a closed fist with the rectal region of a person.
starbucks: how'd you enjoy that ass punch?
me: not very much.
starbucks: that'll be $5
me: fuck you man.
Q: so what's up with pumpkin spice?
|*pinterest no idea original source|
A: yea what's up with pumpkin spice and her shitty attitude????
the other spice girls said she was always moody as fuck.
i called pumpkin spice up because i know all the spice girls from back in the day when i was a roadie on their american tour.
pumpkin spice said those bitches just didn't understand that the ugg boots made her feet all sweaty and shit.
plus the spandex camel toe hurt like hell.
no one enjoys a wad of spandex up the box.
pumpkin spice really was okay once you got to know her. she was just misunderstood.
girrrrl story of my life! i feels ya on that!
although pumpkin spice smelled good, personally i could only ever identify with sporty spice because she's a bit butch, like me.
other than me liking dick i think i'd totally make a good butch lesbian because i like wearing flats.
here's my personal spice blend i use when a recipe calls for 'pumpkin spice'
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon ginger
½ teaspoon cloves
i hope you enjoyed this installment of american Q+A.
got more questions? i can answer them alllllll.