i am not the only one in the last week to lose their shit over all the bad news out there.
couple of my favorite bloggers have had enough too. which prompted me to chime in.
for the most part i really try to have a good tight seal on the shit filter of the news that comes across my laptop and keep only the good stuff coming in.
it's been really hard in the last week or so. there seems to be a shitstorm a brew'n out there.
this bill cosby thing pisses me off. yea yea i know. cosby.
well i'm not so much going to go into his shit here. but as i see the news stories pop up against my better judgement i've read several.
i am compelled to look at comments below the stories...
and i tell myself not to look because i know there's going to be many people with opinions that greatly differ from mine on this whole clusterfuck.
i have been working really hard lately to see opinions and views that are not the same as mine for what they are...
a personal opinion of which we are all entitled to!
my homework is to open my own mind up to... ''yea okay maybe i can also see your side and sure you have a point and maybe i could be less rigid in my opinions.''
see how i'm all adult here and shit.
so of course i look at comments and they pissed me off.
hey now, i didn't say i mastered this thing yet, i said i'm working on it.
so the comments are all over the place
and the ones on 'team cosby' the outraged comments pretty much go like this...
''hey these broads are coming forward 20-30-40 years later and 'JUST NOW' speaking up?!!!''
well the thing is, it's scary to speak up even today whether there was a rape involved or not. a celebrity or not. harassment-sexual or not.
it might as well be the 1950's or the 1990's... remember anita hill and that pubic hair and the coke can! yea that did a whole lot for us gals to come forward.
i was 44 yrs old. a middle aged woman with a bit of life under my belt.
it was hard for me to come forward after a series of events at my workplace.
i thought i would have a nervous breakdown and i think i kinda did.
he said. she said.
let me repeat this... it was 2009 not 1950.
i had a male co-worker (let's just call him 'dick bag') on 2 separate occasions dick bag make unauthorized physical contact with my person before i called HR.
another after i filed the complaint.
there was MANY sexual verbal assaults before i called HR.
a few gems...
dick bag told another coworker loud enough for me to hear when i bent down....
'i'd like to break my dick off up inside that ass'
'my god she has incredible tits. i wonder if they are real.'
when that didn't get my reaction... let's up this game...
dick bag sat and waited for an opportunity to pass me in a tight area grabbed ahold of my shoulders and slowwwwwly passed me while he rubbed his erection across my ass.
NO. JUST NO.
HR: how do you know he had an erection? (because i guess if there wasn't an erection it was okay?????)
me: well it was either an erection or he had a roll of quarters in his pants.
annnnd then i was on my knees working on the floor sorting year end files with head down. lost in my work. remember IT'S WORK!
dick bag walked up to me.
extremely close. said 'HEY look at this!'
i lifted my head to see he positioned himself very close so i would be face level to his groin... and i guess he wanted me to see his 'pocket of quarters' ummm yea that was also an erection.
my nerves were SHOT.
i called HR.
i filed a complaint.
dick bag was PISSED. he was interviewed by HR.
afterward he physically blocked me from walking through the office.
yes. he laid hands on me.
he confronted me.
i was the problem here....
i came on to him...
insanity. the whole thing was like a bad movie. but it was real. REAL.
and when this goes down because we are so programmed that it's 'our fault'... your mind starts going through the scenarios and you start second guessing yourself...
shit.... did i say something?
did i bend over unlady like?
did i give him a 'come hither' i want a dick up my ass look over the filling cabinet?
no idea what that look would look like but i guarantee you that my face cannot make that face!
you know what... FUCK NO to all of that.
this man repulsed me. i did NOTHING to garner his attentions.
during the processing...
HR asked my boss:
does she wear tight clothes. low cut shirts. short skirts. suggestive clothing.
no. she dresses professionally. dressed as outlined by dress code. she is professional always.
HR asked my boss:
does she tell inappropriate jokes at work?
no. she is professional always.
these were just a few of the questions asked by HR.
imagine if i was raped, what the questions would have been like?
imagine if there was famous people involved here?
when dick bag was transferred into my work place within 2 weeks it went from 'nice to meet you' to
'i fucking HATE my job'. it went into epic hell quick.
it's a slippery slope working out in the public.
i am fun. you know i am.
i'm also professional. an adult with boundaries and i know how to get along with people. i love people.
but being fun and getting along with people doesn't mean it gives one permission to brush your dick up on my hand that's on the edge of a work table as you walk by.
i asked for a transfer because they were not being swift with dealing with this.
having to spend even 1 minute in that environment with that person was horrendous.
i quit eating, sleeping. i cried a lot in my car at lunch time and on my drive home and on my days off... so yea wow at the time sooooo fucking glad i called HR.
he was eventually transferred out. believe me not quick enough.
i lost respect for the company and coworkers that didn't appreciate that i couldn't just keep my mouth shut and have 'a little fun'....
btw that was male AND female coworkers.
i guess i ruined it for everyone.
funny there was no dick rubbing ludeness before dick bag came to our workplace but now i ruined it for everyone.
i was being too sensitive and couldn't take a 'compliment'.
because 'breaking off one's dick up my ass' was a compliment.
we've come a long way since 1950...
that's what she said.
ha. no. she didn't.